Monday, November 24, 2008

'Broken' by William Cope Moyers

I am a person with a very addictive personality. I am already addicted to cigarettes and I once balanced on the verge of alcohol addiction. Having known that about myself, I have always stayed away from any kind of illegal drugs, even marijuana. I have always realized that if I try any of them just once I would be done for good as I unfortunately am not a strong-willed person. Thus, I sometimes enjoy reading about other people's experiences with life on drugs to remind myself what exactly I am trying to avoid.
One of such books was 'Broken', a story of William Cope Moyers and his addiction to almost everything there is to get addicted to. The book is moving, it is also worth reading if only for the simple fact that this is not some made-up story with fictious characters that never actually had a life beyond the pages of the book. This is as real as it can get, Moyers does not spare himself, does not try 'airbrush' anything about his person. The letters from his dad are especially moving because of the pain of a parent that is not obvious but that you can discover reading between the lines.
There are two things (or maybe it is actually one and the same problem) that I struggled with from the beginning to the end of the story. One: the enormous self-pity that permeates through the whole book, and two: the constant yet not obvious blaming of his parents and his life circumstances for his addiction. Moyers' family really was good (why he uses quotation marks for this word I don't understand), they did do all they could to give him a good life and wondering on his part what could've been or wouldn't have been had his family not been in denial is just simply ridiculous. Even after 12 years of not taking he still is not ready to take the absolute guilt for whatever happened to him. There were no traumatic experiences in his life so he decided to make a scene of the family struck by lightning something that would traumatize him. Seriously, self-pity in its ugliest form was what got him into the addiction and if anything he could blame his 'broken' life on it.