A few photos of my babies.

Since for some ungodly reason, my fb page is not loading any pictures, I am posting some here most of them of my precious angels who save my life daily.

My oldest one, Karolina, starting Junior High in one week. I can't believe how the time flew. She makes me one proud mommy (with the exception of those days when her hormones are raging and she does all she can to make me want to pack her stuff and send her away). 

 Karolina and Aleksander (and our cat Sushi, who suffers daily in the hands of the little terrorist, A.)

 Aleksander, age 18 months, now also known as Pedro (from Rio)

It's always heart warming to see your children loving each other

Aleksander didn't actually wanted to let go of Olivia there for a while.

And here she is, the youngest of the bunch, Olivia, age 4 months.

A post where I beg to differ.

Today I've come across an article by Daniela Hurezanu on SantaCruz.com, all thanks to Rebecca from The Book Lady's Blog. The title of the article is Book Expo's Sorry Turn and while I find the whole piece full of crap, from the assertion that 'the Book is disappearing' and 2011 BEA 'dispensed with any doubt' about it to the literary fiction being abandoned by major publishers, to finally a claim that housewives are bloggers who write mostly about romance, horror and/or paranormal novels, what I found the most offensive is that the term 'mommy bloggers' became derogatory both in the article and in some comments by women who want the author to be sure that they are single/ career women/ working women and blog about all kinds of fiction and non-fiction.

I ask: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH BEING A MOMMY BLOGGER!!!???

Yes, I'm a mother of three and yes, I made a decision to be a stay-at home mom despite the fact that I hold a Masters degree, I have a great profession of translator/interpreter and I had bright prospects for professional success. I simply decided that I did not want my babies to be raised by strangers while I'm chasing a career. My life is no longer about me only, it's about my children and, I hate to break it to you, does require sacrifices and selflessness and letting go of your egos. Of course there are tons of women out there who have to go to work because their financial situation leaves them no choice and I also do not want to judge any woman who is a mother and who also works outside the home. I'm simply expressing my personal feelings about being a housewife. 

But that's not even my main point. My main one is, mommy bloggers are not stupid. We are intelligent, we are smart, we are tough and we work too (while I'm not a particular fan of Dr. Phil, he did say it right when he stated that a stay-at-home mom works the equivalent of two full-time jobs). Does the author of the article think that when we pushed the placenta out, our brain followed right behind it? Is a mommy blogger some kind of oxymoron among the 'elite' of successful businesswomen and men. Here's a newsflash for you (and it's for all of the people who feel that mommy bloggers are some subspecies, not only for Ms. Hurezanu): we can read (Ooops, did I really say that?!) and then we can also think critically about what we read, and most shocking of all, we can write about it cohesively. 

I sooo want to be rude and say SHOVE IT but maybe I should be nicer...wait a minute, I just did. There it is, I'm a mommy blogger and damn proud of it!

How the things are going here

Well, two months have passed since the birth of my youngest treasure, Olivia Ann and the road has been rocky to say the least. Mostly, even though I knew that raising three children, 12-year-old, one-year old and an infant would be difficult, I really had no idea how hard it would turn out to be. The household seems to be in a total state of chaos and to top it off, I have been going through what I feared the most: Postpartum Depression. Since I struggled with depression for most of my life, I should have expected this to happen. Just deep down I hoped it wouldn't.

 

But there is a silver lining to every cloud and I have been blessed with great people who had my best interest in heart. Especially my midwife who finally made me go and see a psychiatrist, my sister who has been a great support and my wonderful husband, who's been through hell and back with me but still stays by me and is very understanding (I love you very much hon, if you're reading it).

So far, it's working great and I have much hope for getting this awful depression under control.

All this is not to say that I don't enjoy the angels I have now to love and who love me. Aleksander is being such a good little brother (even though he has his moments of naughtiness), he gives Olivia kisses and helps me throw the diapers away and really is just a bundle of love. The funniest thing is when he tries to do things Olivia does, such as climbing into her bassinet.

My oldest girl, Karolina, is really a trooper and doesn't complain a thing about the mess, the noise and her little brother being a tiny pain in the butt :)

On the reading front, my depression problems understandably slowed everything down and my plans for reading and reviewing certain books have to be pushed to a further date. I am however in process of reading Miss Timmins' School for Girls by Nayana Currimbhoy, courtesy of NetGalley and I'm really liking it. It's a mixture of coming-of-age and murder mystery and I think it would appeal to a wide range of readers. Full review will be hopefully coming soon.

Another thing that will be coming soon is my rant about a recent article from The New York Review of Books (June 23rd edition), 'The Epidemic of Mental Illness' by Marcia Angell. All I have to say right now, the books mentioned in there and a somewhat vague opinion of the article author are FULL OF CRAP. Stay tuned for what will probably be a post with a few expletives, I just have to read it again to make sure I got it right.

I swear, this girl can put a smile on even the grumpiest person's face.

A new baby and a hiatus from blogging.

I don't have any pictures uploaded yet, but on April 3, 2011 I delivered a beautiful, healthy girl Olivia Ann Gustavus into this world. I'm very happy that everything went well, even though I got cheated out of epidural (the anesthesiologist showed up too late and by the time he was ready, I was also ready to push :(. Anyway.

I will be posting the pictures on my FB page as soon as I get to it (and I honestly don't know when that will be). I am right now mostly overwhelmed, exhausted and running like a chicken without a head. Taking care of a newborn, a 14-month-old boy and a 12 years old girl at the same time is a lot harder than I ever imagined and pretty much leaves me with no time to do any reading, blogging, going online, so forth and so on. (It's a miracle I am actually managing to write this post).

Because it is so very, very difficult (physically and emotionally), I will be on a blogging hiatus for an undetermined period of time. I just don't know how long it will take before I actually have enough time, energy and will to write cohesive, somewhat intelligent and entertaining posts (or any at all).

I'm signing off now. If you're curious to see Olivia, the pics will be upcoming soon here. Until you hear from me again...

Trudging slowly through ongoing mud

I saw this quiz at The Boston Bibliophile and it looked so much fun that I had to do it myself. Even though I usually don't post the results of fun quizzes on this blog, this one turned out to be just too accurate (if a little dark) not to write about it.

According to bluepyramid.org I am





You're The Things They Carried!

by Tim O'Brien

Harsh and bitter, you tell it like it is. This usually comes in short,
dramatic spurts of spilling your guts in various ways. You carry a heavy load, and this
has weighed you down with all the horrors that humanity has to offer. Having seen and
done a great deal that you aren't proud of, you have no choice but to walk forward,
trudging slowly through ongoing mud. In the next life, you will come back as a water
buffalo.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I know it's crazy but I have another blog.

As the title implies, I'm perfectly aware of the madness of this undertaking but i thought, what the hell, my life is crazy and busy, it might as well get crazier!

Anyway, the blog is called Insanity Tested Daily and it will be about my crazy life, the glimpses of which I've shown here on this blog over the two years. I want Reading Extravaganza to be exclusively about books and reading (its original purpose, by the way) but I also want a separate place to record my personal life with my struggles, current and the ones to come, my joys and sorrows, surprises and disappointments, hence the new blog.

I have only written one post, haven't had a chance to really beautify it so far, but please do visit if you have a spare minute. I'd love your company.

How do you guys do it?

As some of you probably noticed, I haven't been posting much on this blog of mine. There are a couple of reasons and I will explain. Mostly, it's because my eight-month-old son is quite a rambunctious boy, to say the least. I'm going to be honest and state that I didn't expect him to be quite so active and so, so different from my girl who, as an infant, was at least sleeping through the night at Aleksander's age. But, they do say that boys are completely different creatures than girls.

Anyway, my energy, my attention and most of my time goes to Aleksander and to Karolina, who is now in sixth grade and needs my love and attention, which is actually quite easy to give because she is an easy girl to love. And thank goodness, she loves her brother and her brother adores her, he actually goes crazy happy at the sight of her, every day she comes home from school. I don't want to make you gag people, but it really makes my heart sing when I see these two together.

Needless to say though, I hardly have time to read and have to choose nowadays between reading time and blogging time. it is still an easy choice for me. Reading remains the love of my life and as much as I enjoy blogging, it's not my first choice to spend the precious few moments I have for myself.

All I have written above brings me to the main point of this post. It looks like I am pregnant again!!! I don't want to of course feed you TMI, but trust me when I say I tried my darnest to not to get pregnant. Now, I have not gone to the doctor's yet because I currently have no insurance and am in the process of getting one (which trust me is not a pleasant experience), so no blod tests have been done but four pregnancy tests have been positive. All I can say I suppose you can't cheat destiny and it's just meant to be. Doesn't make it easier on me though. I am in total shock and I am scared shitless of what's coming.

Hence the title of this post. I know that a lot of you out there are wonderful moms who have more than two children, some of you may even have had them one right after another and I also know that somehow you manage to survive. Can you tell me your secret? I know that I may sound as one sad human being, but I honestly do not know anyone in my environment who could give me any support or advice or encouragement. My wonderful sister (bless her heart) barely manages her two little buggers and her husband and her job, my parents don't even know that I'm pregnant yet and my relationship with them is such that as a 33-year-old woman and a mother of two, I am afraid to break the news to them because they will be mad as cows when they find out. Isn't that ridiculous?!!I know it is but it doesn't lessen my anxiety one bit. I am even nervous to go and talk to my midwife because the first thing from her mouth when I had Aleksander was to for me to make sure I find an effective contraceptive method so  I wouldn't get pregnant again. I really have nowhere to turn to just talk and be happy that another living being, just as precious as my two children, is going to join us. Which by the way begs the question: What sick and sad world do we live in (or at least I live in) where news of pregnancy is no longer happy news, no longer a reason for celebration of a miracle that it is?! Rather it makes me feel that it would be easier to announce an illness than another pregnancy, it would get me more emotional support and offers of help. 

I am not sure that I'm making much sense here but all in all, I just would like to hear from all you moms out there and all you friends that I know I have in the blogosphere. I value your opinion and even by reading your blogs, I know that what's coming is doable without going insane if only I have some friendly souls around me.

Things that need to be done + Raven Stole the Moon giveaway results.

I wasn't kidding when I said that having a second baby eleven years after the first one is like being a brand new mother all over again. I see now that this second motherhood will be no walk in the park. I forgot how much time and effort really is needed when taking care of an infant, especially when it's a boy like my Aleksander, who according to his pediatrician, is a 'motion-driven' baby, which means he needs to be carried in my arms or  rocked in his stroller, or even rocked ever so gently when breast-feeding, at all times. The 'carrying in my arms' part proves to be the most difficult considering that at 5 months old, he weighs approx. 22 lb.

With all that said, you can imagine how daunting  it is to try and manage to do anything other than spending time with my children (because yes, I still have a girl on the verge of teenage-hood in the house and it's no small task to try and survive the day without major issues between her and me). As much as I enjoy blogging, my family is my priority. Therefore I need to make some changes and adjustments as far as my blog goes. And no, it doesn't mean I'm quitting. I have put way too much effort, time and love into this little blog of mine to just abandon it. It only means that I am forced to write posts a lot less frequently than I used to. I know that a lot of you prefer to read a fairly often updated blogs and I hope that my decision to write fewer posts for the next few months won't push those of you away.

What I also decided is to join What Are You Reading on Mondays? meme hosted by Sheila from One Person's Journey through a world of Books. It's a fantastic way for me to keep some kind of order in my otherwise very chaotic daily life and once I make a commitment to read something, I believe I will actually try harder to stick with it. From time to time, I will also give you a summary of what happened & what will be going on here in upcoming weeks. It's something I had never done before but I think it's another way of keeping my blog going and making sure that Reading Extravaganza and I will make it safely through the tough times. Phew...let's move on to the above mentioned summary.

First of all, I will have reviews posted of two really good books. First one will be Broken: A Love Story by Lisa Jones. It's a wonderful memoir and definitely a keeper for my collection.






The second book is Still Missing by Chevy Stevens. I think that it has already gained a lot of attention and I'm sure some of you have heard about it. It really is a very good, psychological thriller that I couldn't believe was a debut (not to sound condescending to debut authors).






There will also be two giveaways for really great titles. First, I will be giving away an ARC copy of  The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet by David Mitchell. The giveaway starts on June 29th, 2010 which is also the release date for this book.

Giveaway number 2 will be The Quickening by Michelle Hoover on July 13th, 2010.

Both giveaways will be international so make sure you all mark your calendars and visit my blog on those days.

Last but not least, the winner of Raven Stole the Moon + a Red Umbrella is

Amanda. 

Congratulations to the winner and thank you to all who entered for visiting my blog.

That's all for now. Until next time, stay happy and keep reading :).

Memorial Day - Let's always remember.

“And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free. And I won’t forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.” – Lee Greenwood

In a small tribute that will never be enough to thank American soldiers and their families for their sacrifices, I would like to leave some beautiful quotes and direct you to a History Channel's Memorial Day Tribute page. They have beautiful pictures and this video will surely make you cry.

And now for some quotes:

On thy grave the rain shall fall from the eyes of a mighty nation!  — Thomas William Parsons

We who are left how shall we look again
Happily on the sun or feel the rain
Without remembering how they who went
Ungrudgingly and spent
Their lives for us loved, too, the sun and rain?
– Wilfred Wilson Gibson

Let no vandalism of avarice or neglect, no ravages of time, testify to the present or to the coming generations, that we have forgotten, as a people, the cost of a free and undivided Republic.  — John A. Logan

10 Little Things That Lead to a Happier Healthier Me.

Twitter Moms is this awesome network of moms who come together and discuss all kinds of things. I joined it very recently and every time I get the newsletter from Megan, I find something cool :)
This time I found 10 Little Things That Lead to a Happier Healthier You and decided to list my own 10 things. And, surprisingly enough, it wasn't all that easy but all the more rewarding because of it.'

1. The smiles on my children's faces. I look at them being happy and know that all is well with the world.

2. Prayer. When I know that there is Someone out there, that is stronger and infinitely better than myself, that I can always count on this Higher Power, this makes me feel safer and ultimately happier.

 3.  Spring with the lushness of green and warmth of sun rays. I love sun and I love green, both are healthy for me. They dispel the moodiness, green calms me down and sun gives me Vitamin D :).

4. Mani-pedi. I don't get them often, but when I do, I feel a thousand times better. It's a small thing but brings me so much joy especially when I can take my daughter with me.

5. Reading. This one is pretty obvious. Sometimes I read hard, heavy stuff to exercise my brain and sometimes I reach for easy, fun books to let my brain rest and relax. Both are miraculously beneficial to me (make me happy and healthy).

6. Sunset at the beach. Nothing is better for calming my nerves and even meditating a little than sitting on the still warm sand and just taking the setting sun in.

7. Fresh fruits. Apples (tart and crisp) all year round, but especially in September fresh from the trees, strawberries in June and big, juicy cherries in the summertime and sweet oranges in the wintertime.

8. Sleep. Nothing can be accomplished without a good snooze. If I don't get enough sleep at night, I have to squeeze at least a little nap in the daytime to function at my best.

9. A good run on the treadmill. I don't do it nearly as often as I should, but when I do do it, I feel like a million bucks.

10. Silence. Amid the chaos of everyday life, I need silence around me for at least a little bit. This way, I can quiet my racing thoughts and just be with myself.

*******
Disclosure: 

“I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and Tropicana Trop50 blogging program to be eligible to win 6 free Juicy Rewards points and a $30 gift card. For more information on how you can participate, click here.”






Trop50 Little Things for Happy, Healthy Living1000 Little Things for Moms from Trop50

What will be my permanent "About Me" page

Writing about myself is probably one of the hardest things for me to do. I am a typical introvert and prefer being alone to socializing. The only form of the latter occurs in virtual reality, as I find it much easier to meet and interact with people if I don’t have to physically be surrounded by them. I am also one those people who does things others would never expect them to do. Countless times, instead of hearing “I knew you could do it” I hear “Of all the people I know, you are the last person…” I also do not display many female personality traits. I hate cooking, I hate shopping, I feel very uncomfortable around children (with an exception of my own) and besides reading, I have absolutely no hobbies (no knitting, crocheting, quilting and such for me) and I am not in the least interested in latest fashions (I consider my brain my most fitting accessory).

As far as my background goes, I am a native of Poland and I came to the U.S. 8 years ago. Right now, I have a privilege of holding two citizenships: Polish and American. I am 32 years old (I don’t mind telling my age, I actually never understood the need for a woman not to reveal it), I have a beautiful 11-year-old daughter Karolina, 2-month-old son Aleksander and I have been with my second husband for seven years. My first marriage didn’t work out but I have no regrets because it gave me my girl, the greatest gift I could ever dream of.  Because I am a loner and have many issues of mental nature with which people around me and I have to struggle daily, my second marriage is not exactly a walk in the park. But despite some major bumps along the way, we are making it work and growing more emotionally mature together. My husband Mark is a very patient person and I am sometimes secretly worried that I’m not exactly giving him what one would call marital bliss. He is also a great stepfather to Karolina and they have a wonderful relationship going on for which I am probably the most grateful.

We got married in Las Vegas, but not as one might thinK in one of these drive-thru chapels. I actually did not know what he was planning until the day of wedding. We flew in a helicopter to Grand Canyon and that’s where we got married. 

We also have two cats  Maxie and Sushi. My professional life is probably not very interesting but it at least allows me to be a full-time mom. I am a freelance Polish translator and work mostly on the computer from home. Only occasionally I work for NY State Court System as an interpreter and I am hoping that one day I can do it full time since it’s actually very fun to meet the judges, attorneys and court officers as colleagues not as people whose service you need. I have two dream jobs: a college professor in comparative literature (that’s what I got my degree in) or a literary translator, both of which, not surprisingly, are closely connected with literature.

Okay, I think I will stop boring you now. I will only mention the thing I am most looking for in life and I’ll be gone :). The biggest thing I wish to attain one day is, actually not happiness but contentment, serenity and peace. I hate chaos around me, it makes me very anxious and uneasy, therefore I am looking forward to peace and quiet.

A quote that gives me strength:

 …He became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him and said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Matthew 14:30-33

Reader's Epiphany

For this Weekly Geek installment, I'm asking you to think back to the moment when you realized "I am a reader!" The moment you felt that desire to read everything! The moment you knew you were different than most of those around you and that this reading thing was for real.

Well, I didn't really have an epiphany. There was no one moment when the light bulb went on and I knew that I would forever be "doomed" to be a reader. It happened over time, every year in my childhood giving me a moment or an event that brought me closer and closer to the realization that books would forever be my true love. And crazily enough, I couldn't even pinpoint which of these moments was the pivotal one or what specific book I was reading at a time that was more important than any other.
That's why I choose to compile those moments in my life,  pieces of the "Reader Inside Me" puzzle.

1. I was barely six years old and was sitting at a kitchen table with my dad. It was one of those rare moments when my dad was actually home (he was a sailor on transatlantic merchant ships and was usually gone from home for six to nine months at a time and then would come home for a two-week break) and I remember wanting to impress him with something very special. The only thing I knew how to do then was read but we didn't own any books, so I grabbed the newspaper he was reading (I know it was kinda rude in retrospective) and started reading headlines out loud.

Now, I know that reading at six is no special achievement nowadays since there are more and more people who start reading a lot earlier, but I still believe that for a kid who was never surrounded by books or by voracious readers, it was a big deal. Why? Because without any encouragement, any good example from adults, deep down I had an instinct to learn to read and read well. And I did. And I also made my father quite astounded and I think proud too.

2. I was a third grader, sitting in a classroom and having a private competition with my so-called best friend. Every student had to read a paragraph from a story we were working on and when it came my turn, I already knew I was a better reader than other students but I wanted to show the teacher that I was not only better but the best (meaning better than my biggest competitor, the girl sitting next to me and pretending to be my best friend).

Well, it didn't end pretty for either of us that day, because we both started accusing each other of interrupting and sabotaging our own reading time. I was actually very very mad when she would whisper to my ear how to read a certain word if I only paused for a moment (it never once occurred to me that she perhaps wanted to help). It seems so trivial now but then it was very important to me that I were the best reader.

3. Fast forward to middle school when our book market had all of a sudden been flooded with Harlequin romances (this was the beginning of democracy in my country and everything Western was being introduced to us). I could not get enough of those little hot books. I had one girlfriend and I purposely got her hooked on those romance books so I could read twice as many. I knew I didn't have enough pocket money to buy them all so I worked out a plan where we would buy two different titles each month and then switch them as soon as we were done (this way both of us could read four different Harlequin books).

I still remember this moment of pure joy, excitement and anticipation when I would enter the store and see a new batch of books had arrived.

4. And finally we are arriving at my high school years. The last two were the most crucial because that's when we started reading 'the big books'. I just couldn't get to the library fast enough to make sure I would get to read each one of the books from the required reading list first. It somehow didn't matter to me that no one else was in such a great hurry to read them anyway. All that mattered was that I had them in my possession and could start reading them as soon as the first break between classes started and then continue on on the bus ride home and if the novel was particularly captivating, disregard all the other homework, concentrate on reading until the book was finished, which meant a lot of times staying up until dawn and going to school with almost no sleep.

It never bothered me in the least that I was probably one of the biggest geeks ever, that I had no other life besides reading (no boyfriends, not a lot of going out or partying either). I was happy when I read and when high school ended I went on to study English philology because I knew there would be tons of reading to be done and I would not only read in my native Polish but now I could move on to read in English which I haven't stopped since...

The importance of journal writing, as told by Holly Christine

Today I have a special post. It's special because of two reasons. Number one, it is written by Holly Christine who is the author of three novels, including the most recent one Tuesday Tells It Slant. Number two, it's about keeping diaries which I never could pull off even though I tried and now I am hoping that what Holly has to say will inspire me to go back and try my hand at journal writing again. I also hope it will give you a push to dust off that old diary with only two pages filled in and the rest waiting to be written on. Enjoy!

Keeping a journal at times seems unnecessary. We have cameras on our phones and text messages and Facebook to look back on, right?

 

My parents were preparing to sell their home a few years ago and I was faced with these old diaries (one had a lock on it and a unicorn on the cover). I started to read through them and became flooded with emotion. I could see the changes in my life in my own handwriting. It was powerful and entertaining all at the same time. I had forgotten what a gossip queen I was in fifth grade.

 

Back then, I wrote with the idea that recording my life in pen was important and timeless. For some reason, the emotional impact is much more extreme in pen. It’s quicker too. It’s a release, a physical release that stays on paper for as long as you like.

 

This moment of reading my old diary entries inspired the basis of  Tuesday Tells it Slant. I kept thinking that it would be easy to erase these old memories that I had. Perhaps I wanted to forget that I fought with my younger brother. Couldn’t I just rip the page out? I had forgotten about that fight up until the moment I saw it in my diary.

 

Throughout the book, Tuesday changes her old diary entries, eliminating all painful memories. But in the process, she loses her self; her soul seems halfhearted and confused. Her diary, as it turns out, is like an extension of her existence.

 

But all entries aren’t necessarily painful memories. My mother kept a journal of her pregnancy with me and recently gave it to me. It is written in pen on regular notebook paper and it is a tradition that I plan to continue.

 

A diary is a gift to your future and your present soul. It can inspire the future while recording the present and is like an old photo of your emotions: timeless.

 

Thank you for the opportunity to guest blog and happy readings!

 

~Holly Christine 

*******

If you liked what Holly wrote and would like to read more, please make sure you visit her website and check out the three novels written by her: 

The Nine Lives of Clemenza

Retail Ready

Tuesday Tells It Slant